When Life Falls Apart, What Next?

We recently responded to an e-mail from someone really going through some difficulties in life. Without divulging any confidences I want to share with you what we ministered to this person. If you are struggling, this will help you:

Hello <name withheld>:

Russ and Kitty here – just following up with you. We have both walked through some of the things you are going through now and trust you are in our prayers. Several things the Lord taught us about navigating life’s difficulties:

1. Stay in the place of humility. That has nothing to do with tolerating abuse. Remember that contention, Solomon said always comes by pride. Christians are adept at spiritually molesting one another “in Jesus’ name.” Learn to go low and worship. Be a gatherer of information and not a dispenser of information – look to the Lord and not man for man will often disappoint but God will never mislead you.

2. Listen to the voice of God that speaks independently of your opinion or the opinions of others (including at times, spiritual leadership, who won’t always have the mind of God for your situation).

3. Limit your counselors. They can’t give you what they don’t have – if they are struggling (often in hiding) they can only communicate struggle, for instance. The value you place on counsel must be determined by your own inward witness. Remember that others speaking into your situation – they don’t have to live with the consequences of following their advice but you do and you will. Use wisdom, wait on the Lord, listen for his voice to speak independently of judgments, opinions, or suggestions of others, then act on the confirmation of the Holy Ghost.

4. Do what you see the Father do, have no opinion, and relinquish the outcome. You are in a walk, out of your captivity – no amount of demon casting out, slapping hands on top of your head, dousing you with oil or other substances or any other church jive will ultimately make the difference that hearing God’s voice and doing what He says will produce in you.

5. Know that a better day will come. Had Kitty and I knew the good things that were ahead and how well God would walk us out of our situations, we would have had much more peace and rest in the process. Don’t assume you have any idea about what comes next because to be sure God will work in ways you totally can’t anticipate.

6. Remember Prov. 4:23 out of the heart (your heart) are the issues of life. What is in your life according to God’s word originated in your heart and that is the only place you can take responsibility. That is why God’s word speaks of having a circumcised heart. If you don’t like what is in your life you begin by changing what is in your heart – – adapting yourself not to the narrative of any outward influence, nor the narrative of your own unsanctified thinking but to the narrative of God’s word, this is the primary reason He gave us His word.

7. Things are the way they are because of what you are doing. If you want something different you have to do something different. I got mad at God for telling me that but it was the most helpful counsel I ever received. The kingdom Luke 17:20,21 doesn’t come with observation – you have to do something, it is voice and motion-activated.

8. God may ask you to make the CHAOS decision. It really isn’t chaotic (non-sensical or crazy, despite what others say) – it’s just that God works from a rationale so far beyond ours that what we think is absolutely nuts is actually God knowing the end from the beginning and instructing us in the way that we should go that leads to highest heart’s desire.

9. Be patient in the process. If you opt-out in the process of obeying God things can get REALLY bad. Stay resolute with what you KNOW God has instructed you to do.

10. Remember that (Col. 1:26,27) Christ in YOU is your hope, not Christ in anyone or anything else. Christ in YOU is your Father and every TRUE spiritual father or influence in your life will work to create in you TOTAL DEPENDENCE ON THE INDWELLING Christ and not any other thing or person.

11. Don’t forget your authority. In my dark night of the soul, the Lord told me to look in the mirror every day and say “thy kingdom come…” Because you are a king and a priest unto God and you are to imitate or be a follower of God as a dear child (Eph. 6:1). Kings have kingdoms and our Pappa is a king. He rules with the default expectation “HIS KINGDOM COME.” We are kings in his kingdom and in his jurisdiction we are to conduct ourselves and set our expectations according to God’s own example – thus “THY KINGDOM COME….”

12. Refrain from connecting yourself to those who only pander to your weakness and not encourage your strength. There are many charismatic, “spiritual” people out there who want others to follow them but if you look at the tracks they leave and the results they DON’T produce in their followers’ lives you will see that their derivations and demands upon their people are self-serving. Trust – I say again – in the Living God.

13. Lastly and very important – keep doing the “LOVE THING.” Forgive, Release and Bless” let that be the cadence of your actions, your thinking, and your planning. Refuse to get bitter – remember LOVE NEVER FAILS. A step out of love is a step into failure, but staying IN the place of love will cause you ALWAYS TO TRIUMPH.

We are praying always for you!

Blessings,

Russ and Kitty