Man to Man! You are a Steward and Not a Lord Over Your Wife’s Love

Someone once said, “A man doesn’t own his marriage; he is only the steward of his wife’s love.” This statement challenges the traditional notion of a man’s role in a Christian marriage. It calls us gentlemen to a higher standard, one rooted in service, humility, and selfless love, mirroring Christ’s love for the Church.

In a society often driven by possessiveness and control, this perspective might seem radical. We are accustomed to the language of “my wife” and “my marriage,” implying a sense of ownership and entitlement. God’s heart today, however, is moving us as men to shift our focus from possessiveness to stewardship. A steward doesn’t own the property he manages; he cares for it, protects it, and cultivates it for the benefit of another, and answers to God for every day, every decision, every word involved in that transaction. This is the model Christian husbands are called to emulate.

Understanding Stewardship of Your Wife’s Love

Stewardship implies responsibility and accountability in a biblical context. A steward is entrusted with something precious that doesn’t belong to him. He is expected to nurture and cherish it, recognizing its inherent value and potential. It is time to lay down the maxim “A Man’s Home is His Castle” to “A Man’s Home is His Calvary,” where you are called to lay down your life for your woman, washing her with the water of the word, and loving her, cherishing her as you do yourself. 

When a man views himself as a steward of his wife’s love, he acknowledges that her heart is a sacred gift entrusted to him by God. He understands that her love is not his to demand or control but his to cultivate and protect. This requires a profound shift in mindset from one of entitlement to one of service.

Practical Implications of Relationship Stewardship

What does it look like for a man to be a steward of his wife’s love in practical terms? Here are some key principles:

• Cherishing and Honoring: A steward values and appreciates what is entrusted to him. A husband who cherishes his wife’s love expresses his gratitude for it, both in words and actions. He treats her with respect, tenderness, and honor, recognizing her inherent worth as a daughter of God. 
• Protecting and Safeguarding: A steward protects what is under his care. A husband safeguards his wife’s love by creating a safe and secure environment for her emotionally, physically, and spiritually. This includes being faithful, trustworthy and committed to her well-being. 
• Cultivating and Nurturing: A steward actively cultivates and nurtures what is entrusted to him. A husband who cultivates his wife’s love invests time and effort in their relationship. He prioritizes communication, intimacy, and shared experiences that strengthen their bond. He seeks to understand her needs, desires, and dreams and supports her in pursuing them. 
• Serving and Sacrificing: A steward serves the interests of the one he represents. A husband who serves his wife puts her needs above his own. He is willing to sacrifice his own comfort and desires for her happiness and well-being. This reflects Christ’s sacrificial love for the Church.

The Rewards of Stewardship

Embracing the role of a steward in marriage is not merely a duty; it is a pathway to profound joy and fulfillment. When a man prioritizes his wife’s well-being and cultivates her love, he creates a virtuous cycle. His selfless love fosters her love and respect in return, deepening their connection and strengthening their marriage.

Furthermore, a marriage built on stewardship reflects God’s design for husband and wife. Ephesians 5:25-28 instructs husbands to love their wives “just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.” When a husband embraces this model of sacrificial love and servant leadership, he not only blesses his wife but also glorifies God.

Challenges and Encouragements

Living out the principle of stewardship in marriage is not without its challenges. In a fallen world, selfishness and pride can easily creep into our hearts, tempting us to prioritize our own needs and desires above those of our spouse. We may struggle with insecurity, control issues, or a lack of understanding about how to truly love and serve our wives.

However, we are not left to our own devices. God’s grace empowers us to overcome these challenges and grow in our capacity to love. Through prayer, Bible study, and the support of other Christian men, we can cultivate the humility, selflessness, and servant leadership that are essential for effective stewardship.

Conclusion

The heart of God is calling you as a Christian man to redefine your role in marriage and all levels of relationship with the women in your life. The Father challenges us to move beyond a mindset of ownership and entitlement and embrace the responsibility of stewardship. By cherishing, protecting, cultivating, and serving our wives’ love, we not only strengthen our marriages but also reflect Christ’s love to the world. Let us strive to be faithful stewards of the precious gift of our wives’ hearts, creating marriages that honor God and bring lasting joy and fulfillment.